


tell me friends, when i'm down would you pick me up

by Skyson



Series: The Head and the Heart [2]
Category: Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D. (TV)
Genre: F/M, Forgiveness, Friendship, Love, Remorse
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-12-08
Updated: 2015-12-08
Packaged: 2018-05-05 16:25:39
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,813
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5382011
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Skyson/pseuds/Skyson
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Coulson begins to rediscover himself, with the help of the people around him.</p><p>Part two of "when I woke up, the sky had fallen down".</p>
            </blockquote>





	tell me friends, when i'm down would you pick me up

After weeks of trying to get him to do his PT, Simmons had finally given up. As his doctor she left him alone, other than weekly checkups to make sure he, at the very least, wasn't deteriorating.

May looked at him in equal parts remorse, equal parts frustration, but she too left him alone.

After being debriefed, Mack didn't hassle him either - though Coulson knew a part of that had to do with the man being pissed off at him. Mack had asked May to be his number two, to which she agreed, and they handled cleaning up the remaining Hydra mess and the continued workings of SHIELD.

When Coulson wasn't sitting by Daisy's bedside, he was roaming the halls mindlessly, usually alone, occasionally with Bobbi or Simmons pushing his wheelchair along. He spoke to no one other than Daisy, whom he made sure to speak to every day. He told her everything, everything he was stupid enough to hide from her before, everything he wished and everything he regretted.

It wasn't like he gave up entirely; he still shaved (though no longer every day), he still dressed semi-professionally (he wouldn't even look at his suits), he still attended meetings and debriefings. He was silent through it all, though, as if reserving his strength in an attempt to give it to Daisy.

Mack had never reinstated him fit for duty since the incident with the portal, and he was okay with that. He wasn't much useful confined to a wheelchair, anyway (he knew he was only in the wheelchair because he wouldn't do his PT). Most everyone gave him a wide berth, other than Bobbi and Simmons, who were also Daisy's nurses and would check in on her, especially after they 'tentatively discovered' (whatever the hell _that_ meant) she could breathe on her own and removed the tube from her throat. Lincoln had apparently disappeared not long after he had yelled at Coulson, and Mack either didn't know where he was, or he didn't want Coulson to know.

Coulson didn't care. He didn't care about much, anymore. Except about Daisy, and her waking up.

 

**< ><><> **

"Lord help me right all of the wrongs I've done..." Those were the first words he spoke every morning. His next words were always to Daisy, and they varied.

"I want to be better. You used to say I _was_ better, and somewhere along the way I lost that. I want to get there again, but I don't know how..." Coulson told her one morning, propping his elbow on the armrest of his chair, and his chin in his hand.

"I can't even stand long enough to take a piss," he laughed ruefully, "and that's entirely on me. If I just did the training Simmons wants me to do, I'll be 'up on my feet in no time'." He shook his head. "I don't _want_ to be up on my feet. Me walking doesn't _matter_ when you're here, like this."

He knew he was depressed.

Another thing that didn't matter.

"God, you're a mess, aren't you?"

Shit, and now he was hallucinating. Daisy speaking to him when she was obviously -

awake.

She was looking right at him, head turned on the pillow and eyes clear. _Was_ he hallucinating?

"Daisy?" He breathed as carefully as he could.

"Aren't we a pair." She murmured, her gaze warm and soft, as if she'd just woken up next to him in some place that was anything _but_ a sanitized medical facility.

" _Daisy_." He whimpered, and suddenly he cared again. He cared about everything.

She was the one who had just roused from a month-long coma, and she was the one who tenderly held his hand while he cried, running her other hand slowly through his hair when he'd dropped his head onto the bedside next to her.

She had always been stronger than him.

 

**< ><><> **

"God, you are stubborn." Bobbi muttered under her breath, watching with folded arms as Coulson glared at the walker in front of him.

"Hell. No." He stayed firmly planted in the wheelchair.

"Coulson, you need to start walking with more than the help of just me, or Daisy, or Hunter."

That was a bit of a surprising thing; Hunter's assistance with Coulson's recovery. The two men had a very tense time of it for the first couple days, but they eventually came to an understanding. Their relationship started feeling a bit like what it had become all those months ago, when Coulson had to take a bit of a reprieve from Gonzales and 'other-SHIELD'.

"I'm not using a _walker_." Coulson insisted with disdain.

"That's fine, we just need to work more often, is all. Speed up recovery." Hunter reasoned, and Bobbi made a face at him.

"Oh, alright, make _me_ the bad cop, even though we'd _all_ agreed,"

"Hey, _I_ told you he wouldn't go for the old man look." Daisy piped up, from where she was casually leaning against the wall with her arms folded loosely across her chest. She had a towel draped over her shoulder and looked terribly amused, and Coulson raised his eyebrows in her direction.

"Why didn't anybody listen to her?" He wondered, and Bobbi rolled her eyes.

"Maybe because we figured she didn't want to be dating the old man look," She muttered under her breath, and Daisy threw the towel at her face. She then stood off the wall and approached Coulson, standing in front of him and reaching for his arms.

"Come on. Up and at em." She helped him stand up, and he swayed into her a bit. He played it up a little, smirking quickly at her before getting his balance and standing straight. Daisy laughed, squeezed his hands, and then stepped backwards. "I don't think you need anyone's help anymore, Coulson. You're physically more than capable to do this on your own."

"Fitz tells me it's more of a brain matter than a muscle matter," Coulson muttered through a look of concentration as he slowly stepped after her. "I promise I'm not being obstinate on purpose," He said toward Bobbi, and her expression softened into a friendly smile.

"I know, Coulson. I've been where you are. I get it." They smiled ruefully at one another, and then he went back to focusing on his footsteps.

"One small step for man..." Hunter started, and everybody groaned, and Bobbi threw the towel at his head.

 

**< ><><> **

"How did you get Mack to let you follow us through the portal?" Coulson asked one day. Now, he was walking with just the use of a cane, and his headaches had diminished entirely.

"He didn't, exactly." Daisy admitted. "He and May argued with me about it. Eventually I just jumped in."

"What if they hadn't been able to open it from their side again?" Coulson pointed out, trying not to panic over the recklessness of something that happened in the past. He'd been far more reckless, anyhow.

Daisy shrugged, sensed his unease (of course she did), and rested her hand atop his on the kitchen table.

"What's done is done, remember?" She said softly and firmly. It was a saying she had used many times over the past couple months, as they both recovered from their ordeals. She'd also been using it in regards to their own relationship.

He gave her an apologetic look, twisting his hand around so he could thread his fingers through hers. She smiled at him, and he couldn't help but look at her lips for a second before looking away.

Damn him but he thought about that kiss every day. Many times he believed it to be a creation of his subconscious, and other times he could swear that it had actually happened. He never once broached the subject, however - they were working on being friends, and it was going well enough that he didn't want to screw it up.

The old team, what was left of it anyhow, even started getting together again on Friday nights for beers. The first couple meetings were incredibly awkward, but everyone was starting to loosen up, smile, and relax around one another again. Apologies were given, forgiveness was given tenfold, and bottles of scotch were proffered as payment for some wrongs.

And Coulson told Daisy everything. He didn't put a single wall up and didn't try to push her away when he thought she was getting too close. There was only one single thing he never told her, and that was how much he thought about kissing her. Times like this, though, when they were sitting alone and she was looking at him like that... he wondered if she knew, anyway.

"You should have left me there," Coulson told her calmly, and she frowned at him. "After everything I had done? I deserved whatever was going to happen to me. I had absolutely lost it."

"No, Coulson. I _remember_ , you could have killed Ward - "

"I was _about_ to - "

"But you _didn't_. You could have killed him with your bare hands, and you didn't." Daisy leaned forward, grabbing his hand with both of hers. "You found yourself again, Phil. It wasn't too late."

" _I'm_ not the one who found me," Coulson admitted, looking up at her through his eyelashes. She looked a bit surprised by the admission, but didn't pull away. "I didn't kill him, Daisy, because of _you_. Even after... even after everything, I couldn't stand the thought of breaking your heart like that." Her gaze softened at his words. "You told me Ward wasn't the one you cared about," Coulson mentioned carefully, nervously. Daisy squeezed his hands encouragingly.

"We all care about you, Phil. It seemed like you forgot that for a little while, but, we were here."

"I know that, now. I probably knew that then. I don't deserve a single one of you." Coulson replied affectionately, and Daisy gave him a lopsided smile.

"You should tell everyone else that."

"Absolutely not." He replied quickly, his tone more reserved and level. Daisy laughed, which brought a smile out of him.

"Stubborn bastard."

"I have a reputation to maintain." He retorted, and she scoffed.

"Is it too soon to remind you about breaking down by my bedside like you were an extra in a Lifetime movie?" She pointed out, and he groaned.

"Desperate times," He reasoned, and she leaned forward even further to place her palm against his face, brushing her thumb along his cheekbone.

"We're still here for you." She promised him quietly, and they looked at one another fondly for a few moments.

"Guess what time it is!" Hunter sing-songed as he practically skipped into the kitchen. Daisy dropped her hand and leaned back into her seat, away from Coulson, and he tried not to look disappointed at the loss of contact.

"Have fun," Daisy teased as Coulson sighed heavily and struggled to his feet.

"Isn't it great we have a pool, now?" Hunter said excitedly, wiggling his eyebrows at Daisy. "PT is so much more fun."

"I don't want to know what you and Bobbi call 'PT'," Coulson muttered, and Daisy snorted. Hunter frowned at them both.

"Inappropriate, the lot of you." He accused, acting affronted. "Come on, just for that I'm making you do an extra lap." Coulson narrowed his eyes at Hunter, but Hunter has learned when he should or shouldn't back down, and this was one of those times where he stood his ground.

"I'm still a higher level agent than you, Hunter." Coulson threatened, and Daisy cleared her throat. "Fine, a _more experienced_ agent," Coulson hissed, turning a little red at his slip of tongue.

"Why did we do away with levels, again?" Hunter mused, and Daisy gave Coulson an interested look. He pursed his lips, then walked away from them, his cane tapping down the hallway. "How's he doing?" Hunter asked Daisy more seriously, and she nodded at him.

"Better. Day by day."

"How are _you_ doing, love?" Hunter asked pointedly, and she smiled gently.

"I've forgiven him long ago. He's only got to learn to forgive himself."

"You think he's ever going to tell you how he feels?" Hunter mused, looking toward the hall where Coulson had disappeared. Daisy sighed, and shook her head.

"It doesn't seem like it."

"Aren't you tired of waiting on him? Make the move, sweetheart. We all know he wants it too." Hunter suggested as he followed after Coulson.

"And we all know you've wanted it since day one!" Daisy called after him, a little annoyed. Not because she disagreed with Hunter, but because she knew just how right he was.

She could read Phil Coulson pretty well, after all - she could do that _before_ she'd gotten superpowers.

 

**< ><><> **

"Everyone I've ever let close to me ends up getting hurt. Or killed."

"I could tell you the same thing."

"Being with me makes you more of a target,"

"Also, right back at ya."

"We've finally reached the point where we're not at each other's throats anymore,"

"And doesn't that tell you something? We're both willing to _work_ on our relationship, to make it _better_. All I'm asking, really, is to be your best friend." There was a pause. "With more kissing. Because we were kinda about to die but I recall you being pretty good at that."

"You...think about that?"

"Hell, all the time."

" _Me too_."

Bobbi looked up from the tablet in Simmons' hands, giving Fitz an accusatory glare.

"They've kissed before?" She hissed, and he sputtered at her.

"It was the middle of a _sandstorm_! I had no idea what was going on around me until Daisy had told me to run!" He defended himself, whispering as well, as if they were worried their voices would be heard through the dwarf they were currently using to spy on their coworkers.

"Shush!" Simmons quieted them, and they leaned back over her shoulder to look at the tablet. There was nothing but the view of the closed door the dwarf was pointed toward, but it was picking up the voices on the other side fairly clearly.

"Phil, please, understand me. _I forgive you_."

Everyone crowded around Simmons in the lab held their breath in the silence that followed.

" _Skye_ , I - "

"Wow."

" _Daisy_ , _fuck_ \- "

"Haha, it's okay, Phil... I always did like the way you said 'Skye'..."

Mack cleared his throat uncomfortably at her tone of voice, shifting his feet. Fitz turned red, but didn't move, and May smirked.

"Daisy... Daisy... Daisy,"

They could tell that he was punctuating his utterances with kisses, and they all let out a whoop in celebration. Fitz and Simmons high-fived, and Bobbi and Hunter shared a knowing grin. Mack slapped a ten dollar bill into May's hands, and she sauntered off proudly.

"Mm, _that's_ better," The sultry tone came through the speakers on the tablet, and Simmons fumbled with it as Hunter fussed at her,

"Turn it off! Turn it off!"

"Call of Duty?" Bobbi suggested to Mack, who looked like he was begging for an escape. He nodded quickly, and they left the lab as Fitz argued with Simmons about how to call the dwarf back without having it 'go to sleep' right in front of Coulson's door.

"Hey... wait up! I've got a couple beers to share!" Hunter called out, jogging after them.

 

**< ><><> **

When they eventually ventured out of his quarters, it was for food, and they attempted to sneak into the kitchen without being caught. Of course, that didn't happen with Hunter sitting in the lounge, half-facing the hallway as if he'd been waiting on them to show up.

"Oi, looked what the cat dragged in!" He crowed, and then winced when his character got shot at.

Coulson glanced nervously at Daisy, their clasped hands and mussed hair rather obvious, but no one seemed bothered by their appearance.

"There's some extra beer in the fridge if you want some." Bobbi called over distractedly, her focus on the screen in front of her.

Everyone was fairly nonplussed, and Coulson was almost disappointed by the lack of surprise. More than that, however, he was relieved.

Daisy grabbed their beers, and two sandwiches off of a pile someone had placed in the fridge, and led the way toward the smaller couch adjacent to the one the other three were crowded on. She sat down and tugged Coulson down right next to her, leaving no room for second-guessing, and raised her eyebrow at him as she held out one of the bottles.

He took it, brushing his fingers along hers as he gave her a smile, and she grinned back. They both relaxed back onto the couch, eating their sandwiches as they watched their friends play, Daisy leaning half against his chest and Coulson's arm around her.

They weren't _perfect_ , but Coulson saw that they could be _good_ , and that was better than perfect. He wouldn't trade this little ragtag team for anything.

**Author's Note:**

> Link to the song: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qCqaGY6-rwo (This whole album is pretty great.)


End file.
